“You are my best friend.”
“She said she’s not my best friend anymore.”
“Yea… cuz we are best friends right?”
These are just a few quotes we’ve heard from the children - and not just this year, every year. What does best friend mean? According to wikipedia it means: “someone with whom one shares the strongest possible kind of friendship” If you really look at those words you will see that they are quite limiting. All of these words - someone, strongest, best - suggest there is only room for one, no more. When we say someone is our best friend, not only are we categorizing people, but we are arbitrarily placing value on them, that one person is better than another. If someone isn’t the best friend, then what are they - the un-best friend?
Think of the words true friend for a moment. All of the sudden when we change the word from best to true we open the doors for so much more. True does not limit by number, but clarifies common value and mutual affection. It leaves room for more friends.
As we help guide the children socially we talk about what it means to be a true friend, and what it feels like to have a true friend. Let’s open the doors for friendships together; lets teach the children about true friends and forget about best friends.